Or the egoist turns inwards. There are egoists whose journey is outward and egoists whose journey is inward. For the inward egoist, the ego finds the greatest challenge in the sexual energy – because the attraction is great, immense, unconquerable – fight with it! But fighting with it, you will be simply destroying yourself and all the beauty of the sexual energy too is lost.
The sexual energy has not to be conquered: the sexual energy has to be used in creative ways. There is no fight, but it is a great treasure. And much is possible through it – in fact, all is possible through it. On different levels it is the same energy that becomes love, that becomes prayer.
A man who is born without any sexual energy will not be able to love, will not be able to feel compassion either, will not be able to pray – because prayer is the highest form of sexual energy. If you fight with sex, you will never be able to transform it into prayer. Fight never transforms anything. Transformation needs friendship – befriend it! It is your energy, it is you.
Don’t think in terms of master and slave. Use it as your potential. Raw energy it is. It can be refined. It can be sublimated. It can reach to higher peaks that you have not even dreamt of. It can become, finally, your experience of samadhi. But never start with enmity – befriend, persuade, observe. Try to understand it, what it is – its attraction, its joy, its exhilaration. The small momentary ecstasies that become possible through it.
What exactly happens when you make love? For a moment, time disappears…and that moment, that timeless moment, gives you immense joy. That’s a glimpse into samadhi. Sex is not your enemy: it is the window to God. Of course, it opens and closes. All that you see is lost, but that is no reason to be angry with it. It is through it that you became aware that something beyond the mundane IS there. Even if it was a momentary glimpse when you were lost, completely lost…the ego was no more functioning. You were expanded. Those moments of sexual orgasm are first glimpses – crude, primitive, rudimentary – of God.
So I cannot tell you how to master it. There is no way to master it. In mastering it, you can destroy it, and in destroying it you will be destroying yourself and nobody else. Once your sexual energy is destroyed, you will become juice less, your life will be dry, your life will be a desert. Then no more roses, no more lotuses…then you are no more an oasis. You will live a kind of death. You will carry your grave around yourself.
Go into it. Listen to its message. Be very silent. Sex is sacred! When you enter into it, you are entering the greatest temple there is. You are on holy ground – put all your mind and worries away. Go dancing, with joy, with prayer, with gratitude, and you will come out of it renewed, rejuvenated, reoriented, with fresh visions, insights, intuitions.
The second question: