Pain is beautiful because it has a potential to grow, and it is something on the way. Suffering is ugly, impotent, barren – nothing comes out of it. One goes on suffering and suffering and suffering, but nothing comes out of it; it is absolutely barren. Always choose pain, but never choose suffering. And that is the difference – you understand me? In the dictionary there may be no difference between pain and suffering, but in life there is a tremendous difference. Pain is beautiful – accept it, be courageous. Nothing is going to happen out of suffering so never accept it.
Seek some way to grow, because suffering accepted becomes hell; pain accepted becomes heaven. It has been good; now you can smile!
Should I try to remain the watcher, a witness, during the groups?
No, don’t be a witness, not at all. If you try to be a witness you are divided, you are not one and unitary; and all growth needs you to be unitary. So these groups will lose all meaning if you remain continually a witness. You are not in them, and it is as if you are acting a role and. watching the role as well.
Be in the role, totally in it; let it take possession of you. Only then will you become foolish; otherwise you will remain wise – and wisdom never helps. There is a wisdom that comes out of foolishness; only that helps, and that has a totally different quality.
So put aside all that you know about psychoanalysis and mind – forget that you know anything about it. Just follow the group and the instructions as a small child, trusting. Then much will happen.
That knowledge is always there later on and you can bring it back. It can be useful to understand what has happened, to interpret. Knowledge can be good as a retrospective thing, but if you carry it in the moment then it is a barrier. This way the knowledge is used and you are not used by it. Try it!
This group has been a shattering experience. I am in training to be the group leader, and I felt totally incapable of doing anything. Today I have a lot of my own confidence back.
But you have understood completely wrongly.
The shattering experience happened not because you are incapable, but because you think yourself capable. It was not because suddenly unconfidence arose in you, but because you felt too confident in yourself. And to feel oneself too confident is a disease. That disease has been shattered. It is part of the ego to feel too self-confident and capable.
One has to accept the incapability, the helplessness; one has to accept whatever the situation is. And today you have again started in the old pattern: you are gaining self-confidence again. And again the shattering experience will come some day.