The moment you desire God, you have made God into a commodity. Then you will be exploited by the priests, because they sell that commodity. Then you will be exploited by temples and churches and mosques, because those are the shops where that commodity is sold. A sannyasin has nothing to do with temples and churches, because God is not a commodity.
What happens when you are not desiring? It doesn’t mean that you kill yourself, suppress yourself; it doesn’t mean that you kill your desires. The point has to be understood deeply, because this has happened.
Scriptures say that those who have known say that when you are desireless, the divine happens to you. Then the mind jumps – just like a cat jumping on a mouse – catches hold of this desirelessness and says: “Okay, if the divine can be attained through desirelessness, then I will desire desirelessness.” Now this becomes the desire, and again you have missed. Then sannyasins try to be desireless, so this state of desirelessness becomes the thing to be achieved in the future.
So what can you do? You can kill desire and think that you will become desireless. Then desirelessness is not the death of desire, because when desire dies, you are also dead. This will look very subtle and difficult. If there is no desire, if you have killed all desire, you will also be dead. That is not the way for desirelessness to happen. It is not the death of desire but the transformation of desire. Desire moving into the future is one way of desire; desire remaining here and now and enjoying the present is another way of desire. The second way is desireless, because it is not moving into the future.
A man who is desireless is not dead. He is more alive than you because his desire is concentrated here and now. If he is eating his food, you cannot even conceive how happy he is – eating his ordinary food, just bread and butter – because his whole being is here; he is not just throwing things inside.
A man who lives in the future never eats well. He is just throwing food inside. He is not concerned with eating because his mind is concerned with the future. He lives in ambition. He cannot eat well; he can think of what he will eat tomorrow, but he cannot eat this moment. He can imagine what type of foods, where he is going to eat tomorrow, but today is vacant and empty. And every tomorrow, unfortunately, becomes today – he will miss his whole life.
While he is making love he doesn’t feel anything, he is frustrated – but he thinks of other women that he is going to capture in the future. And the same will happen again with every woman, with every man, because the meeting is here and now and the mind always moves. He will not be able to make love, he will not be able to eat well, he will not be able to enjoy the bliss that nature gives, continuously showering all around.
As if in autumn when leaves are falling down from a tree silently, bliss is showering silently every moment without making any noise around you. Everything is beautiful, everything is a benediction – but you are not present.