Life is a complicated affair. There is good news, and there is bad news. The good news is that there is no need of any technique; but the bad news is, without any technique you are not going to get it.
Sometimes I feel jealous when you are answering questions of my fellow travelers, although they are my questions as well. I am aware that this is my greed and impatience, and the ego’s longing for attention. I feel sorry for my lack of gratitude, and lack of being silent.
You, beloved Osho, are showering your love all over – more than I am ready to receive. I do not have any significant question in my mind right now; I just want to put this out.
You have not asked any question. That does not mean you don’t have any questions; that can only mean you have so many questions that you cannot figure out which one to ask. Because not to have questions is to have found the answer. There are millions of possible questions, but there is only one answer. There are not many answers, there are not answers for each question. Only one golden key opens all the doors.
You feel jealous when other sannyasins are asking questions. That is a clear-cut indication that you have many questions boiling within you but you don’t have the courage to expose yourself. You don’t want to let people know that you are not knowledgeable. You are a hypocrite; you are trying to show that you know all the answers – you don’t have to ask any question to anybody.
If you had certainly finished with all the questions, there would not be any jealousy. Your jealousy is very indicative. But you also cannot resist, that’s why you have asked without asking a question. You cannot resist the temptation of getting my attention, and everybody else’s attention. That is an ego-desire.
Now you are in a dilemma: if you ask a question, you show your ignorance. That you don’t want. You can wait till someone asks the question – and somebody is bound to ask. You just need enough patience. But you also want to draw my attention, and everybody else’s attention, towards you. Now there is no other way unless you ask a question.
You have found a very clever way. You have simply described the situation – and without asking a question. So you have saved your knowledge and you have fulfilled your desire of getting attention. But this is not going to help you. Your ego has to be destroyed, not to be nourished. You have to look at yourself, you must be carrying a mess around with you: questions that you cannot ask, and a tremendous desire for your ego to be nourished and fulfilled. I feel immense compassion for you. You are sick.