Because of this polarity, whatsoever you do is only halfhearted. It never gives satisfaction. You cannot withdraw from it and you cannot be committed in it totally. You love, but the love is halfhearted. Nothing happens out of it; you remain the same. You meditate, but the meditation is halfhearted. Nothing happens out of it, because you have never moved in it totally. And all happening is possible only in total involvement: when you are not left behind – you have moved completely, utterly completely, there is no holding back…a jump. In that jump the past disappears, the future disappears. Just here and now, being arises.
That being is what we mean by God. You carry that possibility within you, but you go on fighting within the opposites, and because of this fight and turmoil you cannot see who you are, you cannot feel that which you are already, Deep, hidden within your own being, is the truth. But the enemy is also within and the friend also. The beloved is within and the wicked one also is within you. This has to be understood, because the very understanding will become a freedom, a liberation.
One of Jesus’ very significant parables has lost completely. In Luke just a reference is made, but the complete parable is not in any of the authorized gospels, not even in the fifth gospel of Thomas. But some hidden sources, some secret societies, have continuously been meditating on that parable. I would like to tell you. The parable is so significant that maybe because of its significance it has not been included in the authorized gospels. The parable seems to be dangerous. The implications of it are of tremendous import and significance.
The parable is about someone secretly sowing weeds in a wheat field while the master and his servants were sleeping. The servants were all for cutting them out quickly, but the master said that one could separate the wheat from the tares more effectively at harvest time.
And then the servants consulted together, saying, “It would be much better to pull out those weeds right now rather than wait, but we must obey the master – even when he is wrong. In the meantime, let us look for the enemy who is doing this evil thing to our master, who is so kind to everyone and does not deserve this treatment.”
So they quietly inquired and made a search in all of the region roundabout, but they could not find anyone, they could not find the enemy.
But at night one of the servants came privately to the chief steward saying, “Sir, forgive me, but I can no longer bear to conceal my secret. I know the enemy who sowed the tares. I saw him do it.”
At this, the chief steward was astonished and full of anger. But before punishing him, he demanded of the servant why he had not come forward sooner.
“I dared not,” cried the servant. “I scarcely dared to come and tell you this even now. I was awake the night the weeds were sown. I saw the man who did it. He walked past me, seemingly awake and yet asleep. And he did not appear to recognize me, but I recognized him.”
“And who was he indeed?” asked the chief steward in great excitement. “Tell me, so he can be punished.”
The servant hung his head. Finally, in a low voice, he replied, “It was the master himself.”