The first question:
Listening to you in the discourse, it is the pauses, the gaps, between two sentences, two words, that roll in my ears like thunder, tearing me open and tearing me apart.
I am being taken to a space beyond tears or laughter by your silence. What is happening to me?
I am happening to you. allow it. Sometimes it will be frightening, scary, because you will be going into spaces you are not acquainted with.
You will be moving beyond yourself. You will be entering into the unknown. And the unknown is always frightening. The new always creates great fear. With the old, one feels perfectly comfortable. The old always feels cozy, snug. With the new, you have to learn again. With the new you have to become a child again. The new happens only to those who are ready to become children again and again and again – because the old knowledge, the old experience, the old life, will have no meaning in the new. It will be irrelevant. You will suddenly feel ignorant facing the unknown.
Hence the fear! Hence the clinging to the past.
Remember: the journey to truth is a journey from the old to the new, from the known to the unknown, from the closed to the open. And I can happen to you only in the pauses.
Words are used to create the pauses – not vice versa. I am saying things and talking to you just to give you an experience of silence. Those pauses are the most significant thing that is being delivered to you, being transferred to you. Be available in those pauses.
They will tear you apart. They will destroy you. That’s why I say I have come to destroy, not to fulfill. But remember: the only way to fulfillment is through destruction. If you are destroyed utterly, only then will you be utterly new. Through crucifixion is resurrection.
Let me first become your crucifixion. Let me first become your cross. And then the second thing follows naturally…nothing has to be done about it. To die is to be reborn.
Die in those pauses, in those silences, in those gaps! In those gaps, my meditativeness is flowing towards you – receive it. Receive it with great joy. Receive it as you would receive a guest, a cherished guest. Open the doors of your heart.