It will not be the same explosion. In these fourteen years so much water has gone down the Ganges. Neither you are you, nor am I the same person. Nothing is the same. The whole situation is changing every moment. And you get stuck with some beautiful moment and go on missing greater beauties and greater ecstasies.
Unless you drop that explosion and the expectation for it, you will remain fourteen years back, and between me and you there will be the gap of fourteen years. Just understand that it happened because you were not expecting it, and now it is not happening because you are expecting it.
It is a simple law, but very fundamental. Everybody becomes a victim of it: once you have tasted something you start asking for it again.
Remember, existence is inexhaustible. It can give you so much, just don’t ask for repetition. Existence hates repetition. It does not want you to have the same experience again. Even if it is the same experience, it will not be the same experience – do you understand? – because you will know you have seen the film before. It is the same story. You know the end, what is going to happen. You know the dialogue that is going to be followed, the incident.
In my village, the father of one of my friends was a goldsmith. The wife had died and all the children had grown up and had gone to their own jobs, and he was left alone in the house. I saw him every day going to the movie house – and the village had only one movie house. I inquired of the manager and he said, “I am more amazed than you are, because not only does he come to see the same film for seven, eight days, as long as it runs, he sees it three times a day!”
I had not thought about that. I had been puzzled that he went every day to the same film, because every film in a small village will run four days, seven days, at the most eight days – and he was going to the movie so religiously, so regularly! But when I heard that he was going to the movie house to see every show – and there are three shows – then I thought I had better go to see the old man; something seemed to be wrong. His son, who was my friend, had become a bank manager and gone away; another son had become a teacher and gone away, and there was nobody even to inquire about the old man.
I went to him and I asked him, “Is it true you go to see three shows of the same film every day?”
He said, “Who sees the films?”
I said, “What do you mean?”
He said, “That is the only place to sleep silently.” Because he lived in the part of town where the goldsmiths were, and they are continuously hammering this and hammering that. There is noise the whole day long and it continues to the middle of the night. The old man said, “The only place where people are silently sitting for hours is the movie house. I have not seen a single film. I am not mad, you need not be worried about me.”