You ask: “And, Osho, don’t you love me any more?” Now I have started loving you, Ananda Prem, hence the thousand-pound sledge hammer. And when I love you even more I will have to take even weightier hammers. Otherwise why should I bother to hit you at all? For what profit? By hitting you there are only two possibilities: either you receive it and you become more understanding, or you escape from me. What am I going to gain out of it? Either you are going to gain or I am going to miss you – there is no gain for me in it at all. The alternatives are two: either you escape from me become very much afraid – then I have lost a disciple; or you become enlightened – then too I have lost a disciple. So what is the gain? For me at least, there is no gain. I am going to be a loser either way.
And finally she says in a bracket: “I am with you whatever is the case.” That I know – I know your stubbornness.
During a flood in a little town, a little girl was perched on the top of a house with a small boy.
As they sat watching, they noticed a derby hat float by. Presently the hat turned and came back. Then again it turned and went down stream and once more turned and came back again.
The little girl said, “What do you think of that derby? First it goes downstream, then it turns and comes back.”
The boy replied, “Oh, that’s my father. He said, ‘Come hell or high water, I’m going to cut the grass today.’”
And I know Ananda Prem is that type. She is absolutely stubborn. I can trust her that much. She will not leave, so only one possibility is left. If she becomes capable of receiving the shocks that I am going to give – this is just the beginning – then there is a possibility of a new light dawning in her soul.
The second question:
What do you mean when you say to “ponder” or “meditate on” a parable? What is the process? PS. I can hardly even remember the parable after the discourse.
That means the discourse has succeeded. I don’t mean you to memorize it. If you have understood it the fragrance enters into your soul. It is not a question of memorizing. This is not a university. And nobody is going to examine your memory, nobody is going to ask you how much you remembered.
When I say ponder over it I don’t mean repeat it, remember it, cram it – no. When I say ponder over it I mean: let the fragrance of it be released into your soul.
Buddha has said that there are three steps in how to listen to a buddha – three steps. First, hearing; second, pondering; third, living. Hearing means that when you are listening to me you should simply listen, not think about it. Do not go on commenting inside you: right, wrong, good. bad. No commentary on your part is needed, all commentary will be a distraction. And you will miss.