You are not unintelligent, you are not dim; these statements are ugly from any teacher towards any student. These are the statements which make people dim and unintelligent, because repeated often in every class, again and again, they become a kind of hypnosis. They start believing in them. And once a person starts believing that he is unintelligent, dim, he starts acting also in an unintelligent way, because he has to prove the idea that he has been given.
But as far as your being slow is concerned, they were absolutely right. You are slow, you are lazy. And your laziness is not bone lazy; otherwise I will forgive it. You are just lazy by habit. Bone lazy is someone who cannot help himself; from his very bones he is lazy.
I am bone lazy, so I know perfectly well what bone lazy means. I have never done anything. How I have managed my life I sometimes wonder. People have been doing so much, and still they cannot manage their lives. It is just a miracle; I have simply not done anything.
One of my friends came from Russia to see me. He shook hands and he told me, “You should never go to Russia.”
I said, “Why?”
He said, “Your hands! Anybody shaking hands with you will immediately say that you don’t belong to the proletariat, you are a capitalist, because you have never done anything – no sign on your hands that you have even carried a bucket of water.” And that’s true!
You are in a far better position. I cannot help it, so I have not tried at all; I have simply relaxed in my laziness. People have understood that if somebody is bone lazy and you love him, what to do? – prepare food for him, prepare clothes for him, prepare his bed, prepare his bathroom, do everything.
You are just habitually lazy. You can drop it, you are more fortunate than me. But that does not mean that you have to work harder. You have just to understand that laziness is your habit, and to be enslaved by any habit is against your own growth. I am not interested that you should work more or less – what does it matter? At least to me it matters nothing whether anybody works or not.
This much is certain: that if for fifty-seven years I could manage without moving from my bed, moving from my chair…that is the only movement I do. I am the only man who enjoys freedom of movement – no obstacles, no problem.
But it will go against your own growth if you don’t drop the habit. And you have such a beautiful soul that it will be a great misfortune not to attain to the ultimate illumination I have been talking about. Your laziness may become a hindrance; it is just against your own growth.
So you can think: if you want to remain the same, I have no objection; if you want to grow, then just see that your laziness is not something natural to you. You have learned it just by your teachers telling you that you are unintelligent, you are dim. You accepted their ideas – and the natural effect of those ideas is laziness.