When you are in love, sitting with your friend or with your wife or with your beloved, note down how you are breathing. Then try to breathe that way anywhere and suddenly you will feel love bubbling up. Note it down. While just lying on the bed with your beloved, note down how you are breathing. Then sit beside a tree and breathe the same way. Suddenly you will feel that the tree has become the beloved because now the love is flowing.
When unaware of this fact you unnecessarily create much misery for yourself. You go on breathing wrongly in wrong places and you create much riddle, much puzzle and confusion.
In the first step, we work with breathing to create a chaos, because unless a chaos is there you cannot be born. The first step is to break all the old patterns of breathing.
In the second step, we are working with emotions to bring out all the suppressed emotions. If you have really taken deep, chaotic breaths, the suppressed emotions will come out easily. They will start coming out by themselves, and you will not need to do anything. The second step will follow automatically if the first has been done rightly. If you have not been resistant in the first, the second will follow easily. In the second we are working with the emotions to bring them out, to act them out, to throw them out.
When you are angry with someone and you throw your anger on him, you are creating a chain reaction. Now he too will be angry and this may continue for lives and you will go on being enemies. You can continue this for centuries. It is not going to end. Where will it end? There is only one possibility. You can end it only in meditation, nowhere else, because in meditation you are not angry with someone: you are simply angry.
Remember, this difference is basic. You are not angry with someone; you are simply angry, and the anger is released into the cosmos. You are not hateful toward anyone. If hate comes, you are simply hateful and the hate is thrown out. In meditation, emotions are not addressed; they are unaddressed. They move into the cosmos, and the cosmos purifies everything.
Remember, it is just like a dirty river falling into the ocean: the ocean will purify it. Whenever your anger, your hate, your sexuality, moves into the cosmos, into the ocean, it purifies it. Whenever a dirty river falls into another river, then the other river also becomes dirty. When you are angry with someone, you are throwing your dirt at him. Then he will also throw his at you and this will become a mutual dirtying process.
In meditation you are throwing yourself into the cosmos to be purified. All the energy that you throw is purified in the cosmos. The cosmos is so vast and so great an ocean you cannot make it dirty. In meditation we are not related with persons. In meditation we are related directly to the cosmos.
In the second step, we are throwing emotions out. It is a catharsis. In the third we are using a mantra: Hoo. It is a Sufi sound just like the Hindu sound Aum, but more useful for the modern man than Aum can be. Aum is a very delicate sound. When you say Aum, it never goes below the heart. It is not very violent; it is very nonviolent. One of the most nonviolent sounds is Aum.