And to be absolutely certain that “The child is my own,” the idea became prevalent in almost all the societies of the world that before marriage the woman has to be absolutely virgin – otherwise it is difficult to decide She may already be carrying a child when she gets married, she may already be pregnant, and then the child will be somebody else’s and he will inherit the property To make sure that “It is my child that is going to inherit my property,” virginity was imposed on women.
And you can see the difference: man was never expected to be virgin. They say, “Boys will be boys” – it is allowed – but the girl should be absolutely virgin. All kinds of stupidities have happened in the past because before getting married the woman had to provide proofs that she was really a virgin.
Sometimes by accident it can happen that the thin screen that proves the virginity of a woman is broken. She may have fallen, or maybe it happened horseback riding, or something like that, or on a bicycle…these are dangerous things, avoid them! They are against virginity! The thin screen that proves that the woman has not been penetrated sexually…. In the West, particularly in the Middle Ages, if some accident had happened then the girl had to go to the doctors so they could put a false screen back to prove that she was a virgin, otherwise she would not get a good husband.
It is the whole idea of private property that has created the father, that has created the family, that has created the ownership of the woman by the man. If there was a time when there was no father, no private property, a day is bound to come when there will be no private property – the father will disappear.
But the father insists: “Love me – I am your father!” and the child has to pretend that he loves. There is not even any necessity for the child to love the mother. It is one of the laws of nature that the mother has a natural instinct of love for t-he child, but not vice versa – the child has no natural instinct to love the mother. He needs the mother, that’s one thing, he uses the mother, that’s one thing, but there is no law of nature that he should love the mother. He likes her because she is so helpful, so useful; without her he cannot exist. So he is grateful, respectful – all these things are okay – but love is a totally different phenomenon
Love flows downwards from the mother to the child, not backwards. And it is very simple because the child’s love will flow towards his own child, it cannot go backwards – just as the Ganges goes on flowing towards the ocean, not towards the source. The mother is the source, and love flows onwards to the new generation. To turn it backwards is a forced act, unnatural, unbiological.
But the child has to pretend because the mother says, “I am your mother – you have to love me!” And what can the child do? He can only pretend, so he becomes a politician. Every child becomes a politician from the very cradle. He starts smiling when the mother enters the room – a Jimmy Carter smile! He does not feel any joy, but he has to smile. He has to open his mouth and do some exercise of the lips – that helps him, that is a survival measure. But love is becoming false.