Now she is feeling very offended, but still she cannot see the point. I had to speak on Jesus, Buddha, Mahavira, and hundreds of other prophets, messiahs, saviors. But that speaking was very difficult for me, it broke my back, because I was doing something which was against my own nature. I was sorting out sentences from Jesus; those which I could not support I never mentioned. Those which I could support, I supported them with all the growth of the twenty centuries after him.
Naturally many Christians, priests, bishops, were influenced. They could not believe that a man who is not a Christian has such great insight into Jesus, his words, his implications. It was not like that. I was using Jesus only to catch fish in the big ocean of Christianity; I have done that with all the religions. And then for three years I became silent, just to know how many people were hanging around my words because they supported their belief system.
In my silence this woman was happy. She said, “While you were silent, I loved you. Since you have started speaking again you have destroyed my love.” So those who were here for their own ego fulfillment…. And the ego cannot be fulfilled by my silence; the ego need words, theologies, philosophy. She wants me to become silent again. She is furious. She wants me to be dead, but to be silent.
So in these three years I have sorted out my people, who can be with my silence. That means it does not matter to them whether I speak or not. It does not matter to them whether I say something which is against their conditioning or favoring their conditioning. They love me, not my words. Their communion is heart to heart.
And when I saw all the camels have moved towards Santa Fe – Santa Fe has become a great camel camp – I thought that the moment has come to speak directly to you. And now I will be speaking directly to you.
There will be no Jesus between me and you, no Buddha between me and you, just a pure communion. Only then can I reach to your heart; otherwise, I can reach only to your mind – and mind has no function in bringing you blissfulness, ecstasy, enlightenment. Mind can give you better technology, but it cannot give you the New Man.
I feel sorry for the woman, but she should understand that it is all her doing. I don’t know her even, she is not a sannyasin. And her love was false; she was still a Christian, and she was being supported by my meanings that I had put through Jesus’ mouth.
I know I have been doing a very risky job. If ever Jesus, Buddha, Mahavira meet me, they are all going to attack me and kill me. They will forget all their messages of love, their messages of peace. And it will not be only Mohammed, it will be all those whom I have used. But there is no possibility of meeting these guys again.
Now I can be human to you. I always wanted to be an authentic human being. There was never a desire to be a prophet, a messiah, an avatar, a godman. To me, all these words are four-letter words. I wanted just to be simple, ordinary – the way I am. I wanted to expose my heart to you without thinking what is going to be the consequence. This was possible only when I had found my own people, who can understand.