Think of it in this way. When you look at another human being, do you know anything more than the face? Even your beloved, even your child – do you know anything more than the face? Have you ever penetrated farther than the face? Your acquaintance remains very superficial; it is not even skin deep. It remains formal – of the form. But the face is not the person, the personality is not the person. The outer shape is not the inner reality. Will you be able to recognize your woman if she comes as a spirit? You will not be able to. Will you be able to recognize your own child if the child comes as a spirit, not as a body? You will not be able to recognize it at all. You will get so frightened, you will think that a ghost has come.
Once a woman was brought to me. Her husband had died. Three months had passed, but she was still in agony, tremendous agony – crying and crying and weeping and not eating and not sleeping. It was okay for a few days, the relatives tolerated it, but then it became too much – she was driving the other people of the family mad too. So they brought her to me.
I asked her what she wanted. She said, “I want my husband back. I cannot live without him. Life is meaningless without him.”
I said, “Okay, I will arrange for you to have a meeting with your husband.”
She could not believe what I was saying because she had said the same thing to many people and they had all consoled her – as people do console. But when I said, “Yes, I will arrange a meeting. You go into that room, close the doors, sit silently there and within half an hour your husband will be standing before you – as a spirit, remember.”
She said, “As a spirit? What do you mean?”
I said, “There will be no body. You have burned the body already. He will come as a ghost.”
She said, “I cannot go into that room. If he comes as a ghost I will be very scared. As it is I am already suffering too much – no more suffering! Please, don’t do it to me.”
I said, “But you loved the man so much….”
“Yes,” she said, “I loved the man, but not as a ghost!”
Nobody loves you as a spirit. That is why love never satisfies.
Since that day she has calmed down. I had told her then, “Calm down within three days, otherwise I will persuade your husband to visit you.”
I went to her house every day to inquire whether she had calmed down or not. The third day she said, “Now you need not come. I have calmed down for my whole life! You have scared me so much, I cannot even sleep in the night. A little noise outside, somebody walking, the policeman passing, and I become afraid. Maybe he’s coming!”
And for the same husband she was crying and weeping and calling; she was ready to die. But she was not ready to encounter him without his body.