Here, in this place, you have to learn to be dependent only on you. Just search out your own sources. I can help you to be free, free from everybody, including me, because I think freedom is the ultimate value.
Now it is time for Sardar Gurudayal Singh.
Sardar Gurudayal Singh has a special time (Sardarji gives a special whoop at this, and everybody laughs with him) because he is a special man. (Sardarji releases an even longer “whooooo!” accompanied by more laughter.)
His specialty is – there are many new guests so I want to tell them – that he is the only man in the whole world who laughs before the joke is told!
And these jokes have a certain spiritual purpose. We have been serious…. (Sardarji punctuates again.) Before going into meditation, you have to calm down, relax, laugh, forget all about religion…. (This time, Sardarji really enjoys!)
It is a dark and stormy day at the Vatican. The bells are tolling ominously, as inside, on his deathbed, lies Pope the Polack, breathing his last.
At the bedside there is a crowd of bishops, cardinals, priests and other homosexuals, moaning and chanting. Cardinal Cats-ass is crying his eyes out, as he is bent over the pope’s face.
“Ah! Don’t be upset,” gasps Pope the Polack. “Don’t cry. The Vatican council will surely find a great man to take my place. As a matter of fact, I am sure he will do much better than me.”
“But,” whimpers Catsass, “that is just what they promised us last time!”
Dan Quayle, the vice president of America, gets called into George Bush’s office one morning.
“Dan,” says Bush, handing him a box of business cards, “Dan, these are your personal vice-presidential business cards. They help you to remember who you are.”
“Gee! Thanks, Mister Bush!” says Quayle. “I shall always treasure them!”
“No, Dan,” says Bush. “You use them…these cards are to influence people and show them how important you are.”
“Gee! Thanks, Mister Bush!” says Quayle. “I guess I really am important now!”
“Right, Dan!” says Bush. “Now I want you to get out there and help the American farmers. Go out and visit some farms, Dan. Just show them your card, Dan, and they will be able to get things done! Take the bull by the horns, Dan!”
“Gee! Okay, Mister Bush,” says Quayle. “Here I go!” And he walks out.
Some time later, Dan Quayle finds himself at old Farmer Zeke’s place in Georgia.
He drives into the farmyard to find old Zeke puffing on his pipe and leaning up against the railing. The old farmer can recognize an idiot when he sees one, and he refuses to let Quayle look around the farm. So Dan Quayle reaches into his pocket and pulls out his business card. Zeke inspects the card closely.