The first question:
What is for lunch today?
What is the matter? Are you really becoming a celibate? It happens to celibates: their interest starts changing from women to food. You can look around the Indian sannyasins, the so-called mahatmas, and you will always find them very fat, with big bellies. And the reason is that their whole sexuality becomes perverted. They start focusing their libido on food.
Food and sex are deeply related, very intimately related, from the very beginning. Food is necessary for the survival of the individual and sex is necessary for the survival of the species. Sex is exactly like food for the species and food is like sex for the individual. Without food the individual will die, without sex the species will die.
If you start repressing your sexuality, then the natural shift is from love to lunch! It is not coincidental. You look at the picture of Swami Shivananda Maharaj. His whole life he was talking about Yoga and meditation, but seeing the picture it seems he was only eating and eating and eating. He could not walk – became so fat. He could not raise his own hands; they became so heavy that two persons had to carry his hands!
And have you looked at the statue or the picture of Muktananda’s guru, Nityananda? The man has defeated all the swamis and all the mahatmas of all the ages! If you look at the statue of Nityananda…. Once when I was passing by the side of Muktananda’s ashram he invited me. Just to have a look I went there. He showed me the statue of Nityananda and I told him – and since then he has been very angry – I told him, “This man is really a miracle!”
He said, “What do you mean?” He must have thought that I am talking about siddhis and yoga powers.
I said, “Please don’t misunderstand me. This man is a miracle in the sense that I have seen tat people with big bellies, but still they are not miracles – the man has a belly. Here it is just the opposite – the belly has the man! The man seems to be just an appendix! just somehow added; otherwise the real thing seems to be the belly.”
Sant Maharaj, don’t become so much interested in lunch; it is dangerous.
Unless brahmacharya, celibacy, happens on is own accord, as a consequence of deep awareness, it is going to become focused on something or other; it is going to find out an outlet. And food is very close.