And the master said, “This is a good sign. For the first time you are learning trust – you have not asked the question.”
And after two, three months of being hit in the night, the whole day the body would ache. In the day he was able now to protect himself…but one day in the night it happened.
The master entered the room and he opened his eyes. He said, “Wait! I am awake.”
And it happened more and more. It became impossible to hit him. Immediately the master entered into the room, he would open his eyes – as if he was not asleep at all. That was not so: he was fast asleep, but a part of his being was released from the metaphysical sleep, the tip of the iceberg, just a small part, but it went on like a lit candle inside – watching, waiting.
The master was very happy. The next day in the morning, the master was sitting underneath a tree reading some old sutras, some old scripture. Suddenly – the young man was sweeping the garden – an idea arose in him: “This old man has been hitting me for almost one year, day in, day out – how will it be if I try once to hit him? It will be worth seeing how he reacts.”
And the master closed his sutras and said, “You stupid! I am an old man. Don’t have such ideas.”
Yes, the ultimate state of awareness where even the footprints, the step sounds of the thoughts are heard.
You are in such a hurry you cannot relax. Meditation is not a hit or miss affair. It needs tremendous waiting; it needs love, trust. It needs a very unhurried approach. In fact, it needs a mind which is not goal-oriented at all. But if you are in a hurry, it will be impossible.
You ask me: “I have come to try to understand….”
Understanding is not something that you can try, it is not an effort. It is not something that you can concentrate upon, contemplate upon. Understanding is not of the mind: understanding is of the heart. You will have to fall in love.
That’s what sannyas is all about. Falling in love with a master, for no reason at all; just for the sheer joy of falling in love with someone who has disappeared, who is no more, who has become a great nothing, who has become a silence…. Of course, that silence is full of songs, and that silence is music, celestial music. That silence is not negatively empty. It is empty of noise but full of melodies. It is empty of thoughts but full of awareness. It is empty of darkness and death but full of light and life.