“That’s great,” says Moishe. “What kind is it?”

Hymie glances at his watch and says, “It’s a quarter to five.”

And the last…

An American from Texas goes to England for a holiday, and when he walks into a cafe, he asks the waiter for a cup of black coffee.

The waiter replies, “In England, we serve tea. We have three types of tea: we have orange pekoe tea, which is eighty percent aroma and twenty percent substance; we have herbal tea, which is twenty percent aroma and eighty percent substance; and we have English tea, which is preferred.”

Then the Texan says, “I don’t want tea, I want black coffee. But in Texas, we also have three teas: we have shi-t, which has eighty percent substance and twenty percent aroma; we have far-t, which has eighty percent aroma and twenty percent substance; and we have cun-t, which is preferred.”