Life arises only in risk, in danger. When danger is there, all around you, something in you crystallizes, because that danger changes you. The danger creates a situation in which you have to become one. You cannot go on thinking; you become thoughtless.
Have you watched that when you suddenly come across a snake on the road, thinking stops? Immediately there is no thought – the mind is vacant because the situation is so dangerous that you cannot afford to think. Thinking will take time, and the snake is there and may not wait for you…he may strike.
So you have to do something without thinking. You have to move from no-mind. You jump – not that you decide to jump; you jump without any decision on the part of the mind. After you have taken the jump the mind comes back and you start thinking about many things. You may forget that the jump happened out of meditation, that it was spontaneous.
Whenever there is danger, thinking stops. Thinking is a luxury. When people become too secure, they think too much – noise of no value, much ado about nothing. This inner talk becomes a barrier on every sense – it becomes like a dead weight. It does not allow you to see, it does not allow you to hear, it does not allow you to live, it does not allow you to love. Fear kills people before death comes. A man dies a thousand and one times before death comes. Real death is beautiful, but the death that fear projects is the ugliest thing.
So next time make this the key: whenever fear arises, that means you are somewhere near the block that has to be broken; just there somewhere near the door. Knock hard and enter there. Be a fool and enter. Don’t try to be clever – be a fool and much is possible.
Behind all my feelings I’ve experienced a deep no – no particularly to love…. I experience love as pain and sadness.
I understand. It has something to do with your past life. I have been watching….
In your past life you have suffered much because of love, and that no has become ingrained deep in the unconscious. But it has to be broken, otherwise your past life will go on controlling you. No experience should be allowed to be so powerful. You have suffered, that I know. You have suffered a lot, and when one suffers much then the no becomes ingrained. We carry our experiences from one life to another – particularly deep-rooted ones. Superficial ones are lost when you die, but the deep-rooted, the essential – and love is one of the most essential – we carry on.