Many of his disciples committed suicide, and he himself lived for ninety years! And when he was dying, somebody asked, “This is strange. You preach suicide and many of your closest followers have committed suicide when they were young, and you have lived to ninety.” And in those days to live to ninety was very rare. “What is your answer?”
He said, “I had to live, to preach my philosophy, to teach people that life is nothing, and the only way out is to commit suicide. It was such a burden, but a duty has to be fulfilled. I could not commit suicide, because that would have been destructive to my philosophy and its propagation.”
He is saying he lived just to teach people that they should commit suicide.
Many intelligent people are committing suicide. Those who cannot gather courage to commit suicide go mad. Either there are drugs or madness or suicide or a superstitious religion and creating a bogus idea of God far away, just to give you something to wait for; otherwise it seems like an open wound, and there is no way for it to be healed.
Jay, what I am saying is totally different from what is happening in the West. What I am saying is what has happened in the East in the past ten thousand years, whenever a man has come to such a point that all ambitions are useless – he has lived them, and found that it was not worth it; he reached the goal that he wanted and then found that there was nothing to be found, that it was only a hallucination, an oasis that looked to be real from far away – but as he came closer and closer, it disappeared, and there was only desert.
The East has used it in a different way. Not a single philosopher has preached for suicide. Not a single man in this state has gone mad, or has turned towards drugs. But for centuries it has been accepted as the most potential moment in life. If you can just wait, without waiting for anything; just wait – pure waiting…. Let the sadness be there, let the unfulfillment be there – they cannot stop your enlightenment.
Only one thing can stop your enlightenment, and that is if you make some object for your waiting. If the waiting is pure, enlightenment is going to happen, and with its happening there is fulfillment, and there is great rejoicing and life has come to its flowering.
That’s why I say this is a tremendously beautiful moment. Don’t miss it.
As far as your love for sailing is concerned, that is not a distraction. In fact it can be a beautiful meditation. Being alone in the ocean, no crowd, no society. You can be silent, you can be relaxed, you can be yourself more easily.
And perhaps you are also fortunate, because all the mad politicians of the world may not allow me and my people to live on the earth. Then the only alternative for us is the ocean. And you, Jay, are the only one knowledgeable enough to help in creating the first ocean city of the world.
I have already asked Hasya to go and see some ocean liners. Jay is finding where ocean liners are available, and what kind will be right for us. And I am thinking more and more that it will be the right thing to do.