I know it is human to tremble when a decision is to be taken. I can understand the helplessness, but nothing can be done about it. It is so. Whenever you take a decision, a trembling comes – one may be wrong. But still the decision has to be taken. One may be wrong – still the decision has to be taken, because how is one going to know whether the decision was going to be wrong or not? You have to take it to know it.
People come to me and they say they are wavering whether to take sannyas or not. I can understand wavering, I can understand an inner turmoil. I can understand that it is difficult to take a step in the dark, into the unknown.
But I tell them only one thing: you have lived up to now as a non-sannyasin…uncommitted you have moved, lived your life, and have never taken a decision which can become a radical transformation. Try it this time. If nothing happens, you can always go back. Who can hinder you from going back? But if something happens…just the possibility of something happening is worth the risk. Who knows?
And there is no other way to know beforehand. That is the cowardly mind, who wants everything guaranteed. They ask me, “Will something happen certainly if I become a sannyasin?”
Who can say? How can it be made certain? It is not a thing that I can give to you. It is something which is always in the unknown. It can happen, it may not happen. It depends on a thousand and one things. But the possibility is there. It is not impossible – this much can be said. It has happened to me. This much can be said – it is not impossible. But nobody can make it a certainty, nobody can give you a guarantee.
The Western mind particularly has become too afraid of committing. You love a woman, but you are afraid to commit. You love a man, but you are afraid to commit. You remain in indecisiveness. You go on playing, but you never move in the deep waters of life, because then you are afraid you may be caught: it may become a bondage, it may become a chain around your being. You may be imprisoned.
That risk has to be taken. Whenever you move in anything deep, the possibility is there: you may become more free or you may become more imprisoned. But one who takes the risk always learns something out of it, always is enriched.
So decide. Either you take everything in your hands, or you leave everything to me. It cannot be fifty-fifty. You would like to leave a part to me and to keep part in your own hands – that is not going to work. That is not going to work at all.
I have a friend. He is very satisfied with his marriage, with his wife. I asked, “How do you manage?”
He said, “The day we got married we made a contract, we made an agreement: fifty-fifty – half the decisions I have to take, and half the wife has to take.”
So I asked him, “How did you divide?”
He said, “All the great decisions I take, and all the small decisions she takes.”
I was still not clear, so I asked again, “Just enlighten me a little more.”