I have heard about a Sufi mystic, Bayazid, who used to say after each prayer, raising his hands towards the sky, “Father, you are so generous. You take my are of me so carefully, as if I am the only one to be taken care of.” His disciples were very tired of listening to it every day, morning, evening….
Once it happened that for three days…Bayazid obviously was a rebel; no mystic can be otherwise. I have not heard that a mystic can be orthodox, traditional. A mystic is naturally rebellious. His religion is rebellion, rebellion against all kinds of lies that tradition goes on giving from one generation to another generation. And Bayazid had annoyed the orthodox, the so-called religious, the priests, all the vested interests who want man to remain enslaved to the past. For three days they had been passing through villages where no food was given to them, doors were closed in their faces, even water was not given and it was a desert, with no shelter. They were sleeping cold nights on the sand.
And still after every prayer he was saying, “How can you manage? You have to look after such a vast universe, but you take so much care. I cannot ever return it; I don’t have anything to give to you.”
The disciples finally freaked out! They said, “It is enough. Before it was okay, but for three days no food, no water…we are dying!” Cold nights in the desert, hot days in the desert, and you are still telling God, “You are taking care of us”?
Bayazid said, “He knows what is needed and when it is needed. These three days of hunger and thirst and the cold nights and the hot days must have been absolutely necessary for us. He always takes care.”
Such a trust in existence will bring, whenever you are ready, whatever you need. So be grateful if it happens and be grateful if it does not happen. That is real gratefulness.
But don’t start asking, “Will it be easy to find it again?” Have you found it in the first place, or has it found you? You have not found it, so how can you find it again?
It has found you. And it will find you again and again, but don’t lose your innocence in expectations, in desires. That is one of the very stupid things religious people go on doing.
Two Polacks rent a rowboat and go fishing in a lake. They are catching fish after fish, and have almost two dozen by the end of the afternoon.
One man says to the other, “Why don’t we come back to the very same place tomorrow?”
“Good idea,” his friend answers.
So the first man takes a piece of chalk, and draws an X on the bottom of the boat. “Don’t be stupid!” the friend says. “How do you know that we’ll get the same boat tomorrow?”