The first question:
You said the other day, “Just love and accept yourself.” Gradually self-acceptance has been growing in my life. I have had several moments of experiencing unconditional love from the universe.
In these three weeks since becoming a sannyasin, the most difficult and mind-blowing experience for me has been the reality of your unconditional acceptance of me and everything I am and do. I feel it like a soft caressing smoke from some distant fire enveloping me and penetrating the walls of my ego. Through so many ways your unconditional acceptance comes to me for the first time in my life. I weep as I write. What is happening?
Life is happening, God is happening. This is what life is all about. The moment you accept yourself you become open, you become vulnerable, you become receptive. The moment you accept yourself then there is no need for any future, because there is no need to improve upon anything. Then all is good, then all is good as it is. In that very experience life starts taking a new color, a new music arises.
If you accept yourself, that is the beginning of accepting all. If you reject yourself you are basically rejecting the universe. If you reject yourself you are rejecting God, if you accept yourself you have accepted God. Then there is nothing else to do but to enjoy, to celebrate. There is no complaint left, there is no grudge; you feel grateful. Then life is good and death is good, then joy is good and sadness is good, then to be with your beloved is good and to be alone is good. Then whatsoever happens is good because it happens out of God.
But you have been conditioned for centuries not to accept yourself. All the cultures of the world have been poisoning the human mind, because they all depend on one thing: improve upon yourself. They all create anxiety in you; anxiety is the tense state between that which you are and that which you should be. People are bound to remain anxious if there is a “should” in life. If there is an ideal which has to be fulfilled how can you be at ease, how can you be at home? It is impossible to live anything totally because the mind is hankering for the future and that future never comes – it cannot come; by the very nature of your desire it is impossible. When it comes you will start imagining other things, you will start desiring other things.
You can always imagine a better state of affairs. And you can always remain in anxiety, tense, worried – that’s how humanity has been living for centuries. Only rarely, once in a while, has a man escaped out of the trap. That man is called a buddha, a christ.