The mother goes on doing whatsoever she feels is right, but the question is “What she feels right – is it right? The mother cares about the child, but is the care unconditional, really unconditional. or are there hidden conditions in it?” The mother brings up the child and sacrifices much for the child, but that sacrifice takes its revenge on the child. It goes on taking revenge on the child. The mother starts proving herself to be a kind of martyr – that she has sacrificed for you, now you sacrifice for her! That demand is constantly there – deliberately made or not, but it is always there. “I have sacrificed my life for you.” Consciously, unconsciously, that is always the message. “I have destroyed my life, I have sacrificed my life for you – now what about you? Now I am getting old, you sacrifice your life to me!”
And really, she has done much, so the child feels guilty. Every child feels guilty. When a man falls in love with a woman he feels guilty; he is doing something wrong to his mother: because he is moving towards another woman, he is betraying.
Mothers are never happy with the wives of their sons – never! There is a competition, conflict continuous conflict: this other woman has taken their son away. And if the son wants to live his life he has to go away. otherwise the mother will suffocate him. He feels grateful, but that gratefulness does not mean that he has to remain hanging around her apron for his whole life. He has to go. And every mother makes the child feel guilty.
These things have to be transformed. So God cannot be called “Mother”; and God cannot be called “Father” because the father has always been the disciplinarian. It was perfectly okay for Moses to call God “Father” because the whole concept was legal. God was the super-disciplinarian, he was disciplining everybody – punishing those who were going wrong, rewarding those who were following him. It was a kind of court. It was a continuous judgment. You cannot love your judge! You are afraid of the judge, you are always trembling before your judge.
And it is not just accidental that this century has to declare that God is dead – God as the judge is dead, certainly dead! I agree with it. God as Father is dead. God as authority is dead. Now God can be revived only as love – and not the love of the mother towards the child, or the father towards the child, or the love of the child towards the mother or the father.
There is only one natural love, and that is between a couple. That is the only love that descends – one never knows from where; that is the only one that arises spontaneously.
Your love for your mother is not spontaneous, it is a conditioned love. If you had been taken away the day you were born and you were brought up by another woman who told you that she was your mother, you would have loved her. And one day, after twenty years, if you met your real mother, you would not have recognized her at all. It was a conditioning. It comes because you live in close contact with your mother, it is a kind of imprinting, continuous imprinting. She gives you milk, she gives you warmth, she gives you care; when you are ill, she serves you…she does so many things for you. She surrounds you from everywhere. Love arises, but this love is more like a liking than like love; it has no madness in it. It is a liking.
So is the case with the father. He protects you, he finances you – he sends you to the school and the college and the university – he prepares you for your life. You feel obliged. You have a respect for him.