Ten years ago I was a Christian minister and I was in the business of making myself and others feel like sinners, and then offering them salvation. I’m still doing that to some extent.
Right now I want to tell you that I still experience a lot of fear and doubt, and I don t feel at ease in my relationship with my woman, or with other women. I don’t feel sure of myself sexually. And my mind is doubting a lot. But then at other times I just feel that there’s nothing wrong.
There is nothing wrong, but the Christian training must have poisoned you. It poisons. You have to unlearn it. It has to be dropped, otherwise you can miss your whole life.
Once you start hating yourself, or even part of your being, you will never be at ease with yourself, never be at home. There will be some sort of split and a continuous conflict.
Christianity has done one of the greatest harms, and that is that it has made people feel guilty about any and everything. Particularly whenever you feel happy, suddenly by the side you feel guilt arising. Christianity has made that conditioned so deeply – that all enjoyment and all happiness is sin. So when you are sad, everything is good. When you look like a martyr, you are a saint. But when you look happy, laughing, dancing, then you are a sinner. Happiness is a sin.
Just the contrary is the case. To be happy is to be religious, because only a happy person can be grateful towards existence.
And the body is beautiful. It is the temple. Take care of it and be grateful to it. It provides a great opportunity, because it is only through the body that you have come to know what life is, what love is, what light is. It is through the body that you have seen, you have heard, you have touched; that you have loved and been loved. It is through the body that you have become aware. Be thankful towards the body and never take an antagonistic attitude towards it.
But if the training has been there, you have to consciously drop it, because it goes deep and it goes on functioning without you knowing. You will never be able to love a woman deeply. That Christian will be standing there looking at you and saying, “What are you doing? Sinning again? You will be thrown into hell!” And suddenly you shrink and the fear takes over – and love disappears. Love is so delicate, and the fear is so strong it can destroy it.
So watch, and don’t allow the Christian in your bed chamber. Otherwise you will always find between you and your woman, the Christian standing. The whole church will be there, and it can destroy all happiness. Drop it! Never feel guilty. Always feel grateful.
Happiness has to be enjoyed as much as possible. The happier you become, the closer you come to existence. So I teach delight in life, and I teach a dancing existence. And unless existence dances, it is no existence at all.
So drop it consciously. You will have to struggle a little, mm? Because once the mind is wrongly conditioned, you will have to uncondition it – but it can be unconditioned. Whatsoever can be conditioned, can be unconditioned.