The last rung of the ladder will be the cosmic unconsciousness, utter darkness – a darkness that knows no dawn. Psychology is moving into the darker chambers of human beings; it is making man more and more at ease with his animality – because those dark chambers belong to his animal past. This is not the right use of the mind either.
There is one more use. This is the way the mystic uses the mind, in just the diametrically opposite dimension than the psychologist. The ladder is going upward from our so-called consciousness – which is very thin, almost negligible. Just scratch it a little bit and it will disappear and your unconsciousness arises. In the East this consciousness is only called the so-called consciousness. It is so thin, skin-thin, that it has no bearing on our spiritual growth.
If you move upward, for the first time you reach the authentic consciousness that comes through meditation, awareness, alertness, witnessing. Your consciousness becomes a tremendous force. Your whole life starts revolving around your consciousness. It is no longer possible for anyone to drag you into unconscious worlds, no longer possible for anybody to drag you backwards into the animal past – those dark nights of the soul that we have passed but which are still dormant in our beings.
This small consciousness that we have is not enough to fight with the nine times more powerful unconsciousness. That’s why you decide one thing but you do something else. Perhaps you have never looked into the fact of your decision-making: small decisions, not of any great importance…. You decide to wake up early in the morning at five o’clock, and even when you are deciding it, deep down you know it is not going to happen – and it does not happen.
At five o’clock the alarm clock goes off, you pull your blanket over you, you start convincing yourself that it is too cold, too early, “I am still not fully satisfied with sleep. In fact, just now I was going more deeply into sleep and this crazy alarm clock disturbed me. And there is no hurry. Tomorrow I can wake up at five o’clock.”
And this has been going on your whole life. There are millions of people who have never seen the beauty before the sun rises: the utter silence of the sky, the tremendous magnificence of the stars, the music of celestial silence. In fact, between four and six when the sun rises, those two hours are perhaps the most peaceful, the most magnificent in your twenty-four-hour day. But there are millions of people in the world who will never know about it – although they have decided many times.
But what goes wrong? Your consciousness decides and your unconsciousness cancels. You have heard the proverb: Man proposes and God disposes. There is no God, but I know that there is somebody who disposes: it is your unconsciousness, it is your dark layers of being. Your thin consciousness decides, but your thick layers of darkness cancel, dispose. They have never known about your decision. There is no communication between your consciousness and unconsciousness.