I understand. It happens; at a certain stage it happens. In fact, there are no outside causes for happiness or unhappiness; they are just excuses. By and by, one comes to realize that it is something inside you that goes on changing, and that it has nothing to do with outside circumstances. It is something inside you, a wheel inside you that goes on moving.
Just watch it – and it is very beautiful, because in being aware of it, something has been attained. Now you understand that you are free from outside excuses, because nothing has happened on the outside and yet your mood has changed within a few minutes from happiness to unhappiness.
This means that happiness and unhappiness are your moods and don’t depend on the outside. This is one of the most basic things to be realized, because then much can be done. So the first thing to do is to realize that moods are not dependent on outside circumstances. The second thing to understand is that they depend on your unawareness. So just watch and become aware. If happiness is there, just watch it and don’t become identified with it. When unhappiness is there, again just watch.
It is just like morning and evening. In the morning you watch and enjoy the rising sun. When the sun sets and darkness descends, that too you watch and enjoy.
Don’t use these words happiness and unhappiness, because they carry judgments. Simply watch without judging – this mood A, and this mood B, mm? Do you follow? A mood has gone, now B mood is here, and you are simply a watcher. Suddenly you will realize that when you call happiness A, it is not so happy, and when you call unhappiness B, it is not so unhappy. Just by calling the moods A and B, a distance is created.
When you say happiness, much is implied in the word. You are saying you want to cling to it, that you don’t want it to go. When you say unhappy, you are not just using a word; much is implied in it. You are saying that you don’t want it, that it should not be there. All these things are said unconsciously.
So use these terms for the moods for seven days, and then tell me. Just be a watcher – as if you are sitting on top of the hill, and in the valley clouds and sunrises and sunsets come…sometimes it is day and sometimes night, mm? Just be a watcher on the hill far away.
I began the eye meditation with your picture, and I suddenly saw something like death coming up…and I became really afraid.
[with a chuckle] No, don’t get afraid!
Don’t get afraid, mm? Just accept it. It has been a good experience.