The difference is great, but very subtle. When you say, “I am not that,” you are not a watcher in that moment. These are the two alternatives: “I am that” – a thought passes in your mind and you say, “I am that.” This is a thought. Or you say, “I am not that.” That too is a thought. Just because it is negative makes no difference.
But there is a watcher beyond both: “I am that”…”I am not that”…both are watched by a consciousness which is beyond.
The watcher is simply a mirror.
It does not say anything, it simply reflects.
The watcher knows no language, knows no concepts. It is pure awareness, it is just seeing.
Just think of a newly born baby: He will also see the light in the room, the beautiful colors on the walls. He will also see the doctor, the nurses, the father, but he cannot say, “This is light, this is a beautiful color; this is red, this is green, this is the doctor, this is the nurse, this is my dad.” But he is seeing all. He is purely a watcher.
But he cannot name anything, he cannot verbalize anything. How can he say, “This is red”? because he has never known it before, and nobody has told him that this is red. How can he think that this is light? because he knows nothing about light or darkness. And how can he make a difference between the doctor and the father, and how can he make any difference between men and women? These differences have to be learned.
But his eyes are open, and he has the freshest eyes that he will ever have in his life, the best clarity. They are just mirrors, reflecting everything that is around. There is no word, no explanation, no language, no mind.
The same is the situation of the watcher. You again become a newly born child.
At the innermost core of your being you are always a watcher.
So you can say, “I am not that” – the watcher is lost. You have come back to the mind. Only mind speaks in you. Except mind, nothing speaks in you.
Your heart does not speak, your being does not speak. Only the mind speaks. Your heart feels, your being knows, but there is nothing to be said.
But questions will go on coming. In the mind, questions arise just as new leaves come out of trees. One question disappears, another question comes up. Mind is a factory for producing questions.
If no question arises, then the question will be: “What is happening? No question is arising, something must be wrong.”
You have to be aware that mind is the question. What form it takes is immaterial. And if you follow behind the question you will be moving on the path of philosophy. You will find answers, and each answer will bring ten more questions. And this will go on spreading. The philosophical mind never comes to any conclusion. His whole life he thinks – question after question – and every time he finds some answer. But the moment the answer arises, it brings more questions with it. There is no end to questioning.