The first question:
Is this a new phase of your work – two complete discourses without a single joke?
Thank you for reminding me! I had just forgotten all about jokes! Here are two jokes for the two discourses:
A young man was driving home from work one night in the pouring rain when he noticed an attractive woman standing on the footpath, soaking wet. He stopped and offered her a ride home. When they arrived at her apartment, she invited him in for a drink.
After a few drinks, one thing led to another and very soon they were in her bedroom making love. Suddenly he realized that it was quite late and his wife would be furious with him.
Before leaving he asked the young woman for a piece of chalk. He placed it behind his ear and then proceeded to drive home.
At home his wife screamed at him “Where have you been?”
“You will never believe this, darling,” the man replied. “I was driving home from work this evening in the pouring rain and I stopped to pick up a woman who was standing on the footpath. I drove her home, she invited me, we had a drink, and I have spent the last two hours making love!”
“Don’t bullshit me!” the wife snarled. “You have been down at the pool hall again with the boys! I can see the chalk behind your ear!”
And the second:
A jealous husband hired the very best detective in town to spy on his wife. The detective reported back after a few days, his arm in a plaster cast.
“What happened?” the husband asked eagerly.
The detective began: “At two o’clock, Saturday afternoon, I saw your wife walking hand-in-hand with another man.”
“Where did they go?” the husband demanded.
“They checked into a hotel and were given a room on the second floor.”
“And then?” the husband urged.
“Then I climbed up a tree and sat on a branch watching them through the open window. They sat on the edge of the bed, kissing and hugging. Then he took off his clothes…”
“And then, what happened then?” the enraged husband blasted.
“Well, then she took off her clothes…” the detective continued warily.