So the relationship between guru and disciple is one of great trust, intimate love, reverence. But these things are not demanded. The moment they are demanded they become exploitation; the moment they are forced they become violent, because no one should force himself on anybody. It is not an enforcement on the part of the guru, it is a willingness on the part of the disciple to allow the guru to work.
But ordinarily, the disciple is unwilling and the guru is forcing. Then everything becomes nonsense. The moment the guru tries to force something on someone, it cripples, it destroys, it kills, because it is a violent act against someone else’s ego. But if the disciple is willing, if he gives the guru his complete trust – if it is not forced, if it is his own willing surrender – then a great transformation happens: the disciple is transformed by his very surrender.
This is a very decisive act: to surrender oneself to someone else completely, totally. It is not just faith in someone else, it is basically faith in oneself. You cannot surrender yourself if you are not confident enough about your decision, because it is a great decision – total and unconditional. Whenever a disciple surrenders himself his will is involved, and out of his will a decision is born. The disciple becomes a crystallized personality through surrender because the decision is so great and so total, so absolute and unconditional.
No surrender can be conditional; there can be no condition with the guru. You cannot say, “If you do this then I will surrender.” Then it will not be surrender. There is no “if” – you surrender totally. You say, “Do whatsoever you like. I am in your hands. Ask me to jump into a wall, and I will jump!”
This very decision to surrender totally is transforming and crystallizing. The attitude of the disciple is always one of total surrender. Then the guru is able to do anything because, through your total receptivity to him, you can be in communion with him. Then by and by you change.
The matter is delicate, it is very sensitive. To change a living being, to change a human personality, is the greatest, most arduous, most delicate thing. The human personality is so complex, it is in so much conflict, with so much that is suppressed and perverted, that to change it and to make it flower in ecstasy, to make it a worthy present for the divine, is the greatest art or science possible.
But you must remember that what I have been talking about always comes from the disciple, never from the guru. If it comes from the guru then Krishnamurti is right: then gurudom is one of the most subtle and destructive exploitations. But Krishnamurti is not right really, because surrender has never been a demand of the guru; it is a basic condition for discipleship. Without the guru or a relationship of trust, it is very difficult to progress spiritually. In fact, it is not possible.
There is every possibility that a person may flower without any guru, but that person too will have to surrender, he will have to trust – if not a particular person then the whole. The basic requirements must be fulfilled. Whether they are fulfilled in connection with a person or not is immaterial.