That’s why those who have known have always resisted; they have never written autobiographies – except this man Paramahansa Yogananda, who has written An Autobiography of a Yogi. He is not a yogi at all. Otherwise a yogi cannot write an autobiography – it is impossible, simply impossible, because when somebody has attained to nirvichara samadhi then he is a yogi, and then, the sheer vastness… Now he has become all. If you really want to write an autobiography, it will be the autobiography of the whole from the beginning – and there is no beginning – to the end, and there is no end.
In me, if I have become aware, the whole culminates. I don’t start with my birth, I start from the very beginning, and there is no beginning; and I will go on to the very end, and there is no end. I am deeply involved with the whole. These few years that I am here are not the whole. I was before I was born, and I will be there after I am dead. So how to write it? It will be a fragment, a page, not an autobiography – and a page absolutely absurd and out of context because the other pages will be missing.
A few friends have come to me and they also say, “Why not? You should write something about yourself.” I know the difficulty of Meister Eckehart. It is not possible because from where to begin? Every beginning will be arbitrary and false, and where to end? Every ending will be arbitrary and false. And between two false things – the false beginning and the false end – how can the real be managed? It is not possible. Yogananda has done something which is not possible. He has done something which a politician can do, but not a yogi.
The intensity becomes so much that you look at a pebble and, through the pebble, roads are moving into the whole, and through the pebble you can enter the highest of mysteries. Everywhere is a door, and you knock and everywhere you are accepted, welcome. From wherever you enter, you enter infinity, because all the doors are of the whole. Individuals may be there like doors. Love a person and you enter infinity. Look at a flower and the temple has opened. Lie down on the sand and every particle of sand is as vast as the whole. This is the higher mathematics of religion.
Ordinary mathematics says the part can never be the whole. This is one of the maxims of ordinary mathematics that start in the universities: the part can never be the whole; and the part is always smaller than the whole; and the part can never be bigger than the whole. These are simple maxims of mathematics, and everybody will agree this is so.
But then there is a higher mathematics, when you have come out of the senses – the world of higher mathematics – and these are the maxims: the part is always the whole; the part is never, never smaller than the whole; and the absurdity of absurdities, sometimes the part is bigger than the whole.