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Too much concern about yourself is the greatest disease possible. You cannot be happy, you cannot enjoy yourself. How can you enjoy? So many problems inside! Problems and problems and problems and nothing else! – and there seems to be no solution. What to do? You go crazy. Everybody, inside, is crazy.
You also need to become mad now and then – that’s how anger happens: anger is a temporary madness. If you don’t allow a leakage now and then you will gather so much you will explode, you will go nuts. But if you are continuously concerned with this you are already nuts.
This has been my observation, that people who meditate, pray, seek and search for the truth are more prone to neurosis than other people. And the reason is: they are concerned with themselves too much, too egocentric, just continuously thinking of this and that, this block, that block, this anger, that sadness, headache, backache, stomach, legs...they are continuously moving inside. They are never okay, they cannot be, because the body is a vast phenomenon and many things go on.
And if nothing is happening then too they are worried: why is nothing happening? And immediately they have to create something because that has become their constant business, occupation; otherwise they feel lost. What to do? Nothing is happening! How is it possible that nothing is happening to me? They feel their ego only when something is happening – maybe it is depression, sadness, anger, an illness, but if something is happening they are okay, they can feel themselves.
Have you seen children? They pinch themselves to feel that they are. The child remains in you – you would like to pinch and see whether you are or not. They say a brave man dies once and cowards die millions of times – because they go on pinching and feeling whether they are dead yet or not.
Your diseases help you to retain your ego.
You feel that something is happening – of course not bliss, not ecstasy, but sadness and “Nobody is as sad as I am,” and “Nobody is as blocked as I am,” and “Nobody has such a migraine as I have got.” You feel superior there, everybody else is inferior.
If you are concerned too much with yourself, remember, you will not attain. This over-concern will enclose you, and the way is right before your eyes. You have to open your eyes, not close them.
Osho, And the Flowers Showered, Talk #10