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I am a homosexual Catholic: can you help me out of my mess?
The first thing you should get out of is your Catholicism; that is the real mess.
Homosexuality is not such a big problem, it is not a problem at all, in fact. It is part of human freedom.
There is nothing wrong if two persons choose a certain style of sexual relationship; it should be nobody’s business.
But the priests and the politicians are poking their noses into everything! They create guilt in you – absolutely unnecessarily.
If two men are in love, what is wrong in it? What harm are they doing to anybody? In fact, they look happier than the heterosexuals; that’s why they are called “gay.” This is strange: I never see lesbians looking gay – they look sad, they look very serious – but homosexuals always look very gay, very sweet, really honey.
I have been wondering what is the matter, why are lesbians not so happy? Maybe they cannot enjoy nagging, which has been an eternal joy for the woman. In fact, without their nagging I don’t think anybody would ever have become religious.
All your saints are the byproduct of nagging.
All your saints should be immensely grateful to women: they have driven them to be spiritual! They did not leave any possibility for them in the world; they had to escape to the monasteries. They say they are going in search of God; in fact, they are simply going away from the wife. They were cowards.
Lesbians don’t look very happy. Something is missing, and that something seems to be they cannot torture each other. They understand each other perfectly well, and because they understand each other very well there is no mystery left.
Man lives in the head, the woman lives in the heart. The heart can rejoice only when there is something very mysterious, something like a koan: the goose in the bottle. Neither the bottle has to be broken nor the goose has to be killed, and it has to be taken out too.
The heart enjoys the mysterious; the head is not interested in the mysterious, it is interested in the puzzling, in the riddling.
Any riddle, any puzzle, and the head is interested. The approach of the head is logical.
To a man the woman is mysterious; to connect with the woman he has to come to his heart, and he lives in the head. Hence the woman always remains a trouble. He cannot understand her, he cannot explain what is happening, he cannot explain it away either. He has to live with a mystery, and that is a constant pain in his neck; it is beyond his grasp.
But with a man things are simple: both are logical. They understand the language, they understand logic, they understand mathematics, calculation. At the most the man is just a new question to be solved...not a mystery to be lived but a question to be solved; a problem which can be solved, which is not impossible to solve. That keeps them interested, that keeps them intrigued. Hence I see homosexuals looking gay. Lesbians look very sad.
And one more thing happens: homosexuals become more feminine and they start having a certain beauty, a certain “niceness” about them, a certain roundness, a grace. The lesbian becomes manly, she starts losing her feminine grace; she becomes masculine, aggressive, hard. Hence, if you were a woman it would have been a problem and I would have helped you to come out of it. But you are a man. Why bother? Why make much out of a simple thing? If you are enjoying a relationship with a man, enjoy it!
So homosexuality is not a problem. We should start looking at real problems and should not be concerned about unreal problems. There are real problems to be solved.
And this is a trick of the human mind: to create unreal problems so that you become occupied with them while real problems go on growing.
And this is an old strategy: politicians, priests, so-called religious leaders go on giving you pseudo problems to solve so that you become occupied with the pseudo.
The problem in itself is meaningless, the problem is not a problem at all, but how much fuss has gone on down the ages about homosexuality! There are countries where people are still killed for homosexual acts, murdered, sentenced to jail for their whole lives. Strange world! This is a twentieth-century world? Homosexuality is not a problem at all; there are thousands of real problems to be solved. But man has to be kept engaged with toys.
My effort is to withdraw all your attention from toys so that you can focus on the real problems of life; and if you focus on the real problems of life they can be solved.
Now, I don’t see how homosexuality becomes a problem. The only problem is your Catholicism....
Rodney, the eldest son of a respectable Boston family, announced to his shocked father that he intended to live with his swishy boyfriend on Beacon Hill.
“Damn it, Rodney,” the parent responded, “our family came over with John Winthrop, and we’ve never had a scandal such as this.”
“I can’t help it, father, I love him.”
“But for God’s sake, son, he’s Catholic!”
That is the true problem!
Come out of your Catholicism. And when I say come out of your Catholicism, I mean come out of all kinds of stupid ideologies and start living life as if you are Adam and Eve – the first man on the earth, the first woman on the earth.
Start afresh, from scratch.
Take life as easily as possible. But people don’t understand me. I say to them, “Life is a mystery. It is not to be solved but to be lived.” And somebody has asked me, “Osho, when you said that, I heard, “Life is a misery, not to be solved but to be lived.” That is up to you. To me it is a mystery, not to be solved but to be lived, but you can hear it as “misery.”
Don’t make unnecessary problems for yourself, so that your whole energy can become focused on the essential problem.