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The Fear of Intimacy

"Everybody is afraid of intimacy. It is another thing whether you are aware of it or not.Intimacy means exposing yourself before a stranger. We are all strangers -- nobody knows anybody. We are even strangers to ourselves, because we don't know who we are.

"Intimacy brings you close to a stranger. You have to drop all your defenses; only then, intimacy is possible. And the fear is that if you drop all your defenses, all your masks, who knows what the stranger is going to do with you?" Osho

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"Remember: questions arise more out of your knowledge than out of you. If you know, and you think you know, then many questions arise. If you know that you don't know, then you simply listen. You are nourished by me, you drink me, you feel me. But there is no knowledge, so there is no struggle within you, no conflict within you: I immediately reach to your very heart."

Osho, Come Follow To You, Vol 3, #10

The Fear of Intimacy
Excerpted from:The Hidden Splendor #4

"One of your most basic needs is to be needed. But nobody wants to accept it, that 'It is my basic need to be needed, to be loved, to be accepted.' We are living in such pretensions, such hypocrisies that is the reason why intimacy creates fear.
"You are not what you appear to be. Your appearance is false. You may appear to be a saint but deep down, you are still a weak human being with all the desires and all the longings.

"The first step is to accept yourself in your totality, in spite of all your traditions, which have driven the whole of humanity insane. Once you have accepted yourself as you are, the fear of intimacy will disappear. You cannot lose respect, you cannot lose your greatness, you cannot lose your ego. You cannot lose your piousness, you cannot lose your saintliness you have dropped all that yourself. You are just like a small child, utterly innocent. You can open yourself because inside, you are not filled with ugly repressions which have become perversions.

"You can say everything that you feel authentically and sincerely. And if you are ready to be intimate, you will encourage the other person also to be intimate. Your openness will help the other person also to be open to you. Your unpretentious simplicity will allow the other also to enjoy simplicity, innocence, trust, love, openness.

"You are encaged with stupid concepts, and the fear is, if you become very intimate with somebody, he will become aware of it.

"But we are fragile beings the most fragile in the whole existence. The human child is the most fragile child of all the animals. The children of other animals can survive without the mother, without the father, without a family. But the human child will die immediately. So this frailty is not something to be condemned it is the highest expression of consciousness. A roseflower is going to be fragile; it is not a stone. And there is no need to feel bad about it, that you are a roseflower and not a stone.

"Only when two persons become intimate are they no longer strangers. And it is a beautiful experience to find that not only you are full of weaknesses but the other, too... perhaps everybody is full of weaknesses.

"The higher expression of anything becomes weaker. The roots are very strong, but the flower cannot be so strong. Its beauty is because of its not being strong. In the morning it opens its petals to welcome the sun, dances the whole day in the wind, in the rain, in the sun, and by the evening its petals have started falling. It is gone. Everything that is beautiful, precious, is going to be very momentary. " Osho

In this title, Osho talks on the following topics:

intimacy... fear... needs... appearances... totality... repressions... perversions... authentically... openness... trust...

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